These days don’t come along all the time (er, once every four years) so no wonder the media love to go on about it. The general message, to those of us of a female persuasion, is that this is one folk tradition which it is totally uncool to engage in.
I really laughed spotting this advert buried in the Classifieds the other day.
I have seen many articles in the past few weeks along these lines, and tangents beginning from these lines. Who should propose in a gay marriage? How does a woman go about it? I like to tease women I know who are not married, asking if they might do it, and I am only ever met with shocked reactions and gasps of breaths. The biggest taboo, seemingly. Equality is nowhere to be seen. Men have to demonstrate and prove their commitment, in this way if in no other.
As a modern woman who had never felt marriage was particularly important, I decided once upon a time that it would be nice to be married if I also wanted to have kids (which I did). We could even share one surname and seem like a ‘family’ (old fashioned, I know, but there is something about wanting to feel ‘normal’. More on this in a later post). Once I had decided, I couldn’t see what was wrong with telling my boyfriend. Especially since it was Leap Year. It was a bit like a dare to myself, and like a bit of fun gossip which I liked to taunt my girlfriends about in the lead up to 29th February. Leap Day arrived, eight years ago today. No romantic proposal, but I asked him, he tried to put me off, I insisted, he probably wished I hadn’t, but begrudgingly he said alright then. Without Leap Day I doubt I would have had this day (can you see the bump? in the end both things happened at once).
Without Leap Day I am convinced he would never have asked me. Who knows? But I don’t think I really care. I have the family I always wanted, we have one name, and I have some lovely photos and memories of a fun day.
So I know I’m not cool. And you go through ups and downs with marriages. But we celebrate 7 years’ marriage in April, and 20 years’ togetherness in October. And that sounds pretty cool to me.